the wisdom of children: malice not afore thought

a traumatic moment in my childhood.  our house  became a rescue mission for pigeons.  one wounded bird came then hundreds. my aunt was a nurse, a care giver. pigeon hostels were built in our garden. we children learned how to care for the birds and watched pigeon chicks  take their first flight. delightful time. the neighbourhood cats also flocked to our house,  preying on the birds.  the adults :  ” the cats are  killing the pigeons they should be killed”.  one day , back from school,  i saw a kitten in the yard.  ”  a child cat! just my size.  i deal with it and protect my pigeon chicks”   kitten cornered and beaten dead with a log. left  by the pigeon house to be found by the adults and to congratulate me.  what ensued was total confusion to me.  instead of congratulation , i got  severely reprimanded :  ”  mean spirited child you killed a defenseless kitten. ” upon request, i re enacted the murder scene,  playing both the parts of the murderer and the victim .  the jury was convinced .  the adults , guilty of confusing a child’s mind .    my conscience did not let me off the hook,  recurring dreams of parent cats desperately searching for their  lost child  .  bed ridden with  fever for  a week.   as a parent i tried my best not to contradict myself with words and deeds  and confuse my child.  am sure i failed many times   but will keep trying.

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